Miss Big Foot/ TurbulentMind
On the bed
Every room
My house (!)
Dear Miss. Foot/TurbulentMind ((as you prefer)),
I have a complaint against you and if u don't listen i'll have to call the police. I know you don't want me to call my police friends.
My Complaint: I find it comfortable and nice to build my web in entwined places. But you seem to keep playing with the entwined thing on your head. Do you think we can find out a way to stop that? I do hope we do. My family and I wish to get settled. We find your head an appropriate place with an always changing view. My wife has already planned the patterns for out new house.
As for your mail to me. I didn't know i was scary. Every one in my town tells me that I am totally awesome!! And I get my pedicure done every weekend. My stylist Fly Feet is the coolest. I'll tell him to give you a pedicure some time. You badly need one.
You write really nice poem. I published a book with your poem in it. Everyone loved it. Some of them thought that you were really rude. But I told them that "Its a poem. She gotta think it in a different way. So she wrote somethings which are not true. Or else it would be the same old story". I was right. Wasn't I??
And about going with you to every place. It's not true. It is actually not me, but my cousins. In the hostel its my first-cousin brother Squeaky Feet. In the car it my eldest sister Acht Feet. 'Acht' is eight in dutch. And btw, my son Восемь Feet has settled in your cupboard. 'Восемь' is eight in Russian. Hope you don't mind.
About your classes. Umm...You could come to my corner on 20th July of this year. I am busy till then. Hope it is fine with you.
Mr. Eight Feet
P.S.- I am the most talkative in my family. I am always free to reply to a letter.
